I'm writing this in the hope that someone will be spared the trouble I recently went though. We are about to move out of our apartment in Santa Monica and parking in our area is just terrible,  so we also need to obtain temporary "No Parking" signs in order for the large removal truck to park. Seems like an easy thing to request right? Or so you would think...

I headed down to the Santa Monica City Hall and walked to room 115, which is where the transport and parking department is situated. There were about 10 people waiting outside all with tickets in hand. "Ah, a ticketing numbering system....how organised", I thought. This gave me high hopes. I lined up to obtain said ticket then walked out towards the other 10 people waiting outside. As I looked up at the TV, I see my number is being called so walked back in to the room to counter number 1. There was a stern looking girl who made eye contact with me and must have been watching me obtain my ticket because she said to me "Sir, you need to go outside, wait in line like everyone else and watch the TV for your number being called."

I looked at my ticket again and stood there and in the brief second it took for her to look down and her paper and then look up again, My mind was racing overtime. What witty comment could I possibly come back with? She looked up again and I waved the ticket in the air and exclaimed "Emm, I know, I did and it did so I'm here".She took the ticket from me and told me to take a seat. First blood to the man!

I explained my situation, that I needed some No Parking signs because we were moving. She asked if we were moving in or moving out and I told her we were moving out. "Have you brought proof of your address?", she asked and when I produced my driving lisense I could see her face starting to light up. "Sir, you need to bring a utility bill with your address. Without this, we cannot give you a No Parking Sign." Damn, there was the equalizer...1-1.

At this point, I just walked out because arguing with the crazy lady would have give her more delight and made me more mad. What it did do though was illustrate the lack of communication between city departments and the people. I got home and looked up the internets (all of them) for the rules on obtaining and displaying Temporary No Parking Signs. They are listed here: http://www01.smgov.net/planning/transportation/parkingregulations.html

....I wont repeat what's in that page but nowhere does it state what documentation you must take with you in order to obtain a No Parking sign. So chances are you'll have at least one wasted trip to City Hall.

Anyway, after reading the website I went for visit number two and to my dismay they had changed staff behind the counters. I was so looking forward to seeing my new best friend again! My ticket got called and I explained the situation. I showed her the utility bill and she wrote out two "No Parking Signs" and I handed over my $4.00. Here's the conversation that ensued:

• Me: "So I just have to put these outside my house then...nothing else?"
• Lady: "Nope"
• Me: "Oh, So I don't need to have them up for at least 24 hours prior to the day of the truck arriving?"
• Lady: "Oh yeah, you need to do that."
• Me: "Ahh, ok...Oh and I don't need to call the Santa Monica Police Parking Department as soon as I place the signs so that they can inspect them?"
• Lady: "Oh yeah, you need to do that too."
• Me: "Ahh...ok, and I'm sure that I read somewhere if I don't remove the signs I'll be fined up to $350.00. Is that true?"
• Lady: "Yes, you must take them down or else you'll be fined."
• Me: "Ahhh....ok, so aside from the stuff I just mentioned there's really nothing I need to do"
• Lady: "Nope!"

So we've two issues here. The website doesn't tell you stuff that the people in City Hall know about.....and the people in City Hall aren't aware of the information on the website.  This leads to mass confusion, Annoyed people and general big pool of poop! I mean, Cmon guys, get it together?! It's not that difficult. Update the website, train the people on the 3 or 4 easy, but all important things to do and everyone will be happy.

 ......And here's the real kicker (and this is something I found out from personal experience). If you don't notify the police transport department and someone does park in the area you have reserved, there's nothing you can do about it. If the police don't have it on record that you called in they will not authorize the towing of the offending vehicle. That's kinda an important point so I don't see why City Hall doesn't tell you this?? Infact, I don't see why the people at City Hall don't tell you ALL the really important information that's on the (pretty difficult to find) website?

 .....And another thing.......the number they give you on the website to call .....(310) 458-8466......doesn't give you an option for verifying the No Parking signs. Choose the option that says something like "If this is an out of hours concern, press 8 to speak with an operator". That person will then give you some abuse and transfer to someone that gives a crap.

Moving is stressful enough without these kinda hassles!