I'm writing this in the hope that someone will be spared the trouble I recently went though. We are about to move out of our apartment in Santa Monica and parking in our area is just terrible,  so we also need to obtain temporary "No Parking" signs in order for the large removal truck to park. Seems like an easy thing to request right? Or so you would think...

I headed down to the Santa Monica City Hall and walked to room 115, which is where the transport and parking department is situated. There were about 10 people waiting outside all with tickets in hand. "Ah, a ticketing numbering system....how organised", I thought. This gave me high hopes. I lined up to obtain said ticket then walked out towards the other 10 people waiting outside. As I looked up at the TV, I see my number is being called so walked back in to the room to counter number 1. There was a stern looking girl who made eye contact with me and must have been watching me obtain my ticket because she said to me "Sir, you need to go outside, wait in line like everyone else and watch the TV for your number being called."

I looked at my ticket again and stood there and in the brief second it took for her to look down and her paper and then look up again, My mind was racing overtime. What witty comment could I possibly come back with? She looked up again and I waved the ticket in the air and exclaimed "Emm, I know, I did and it did so I'm here".She took the ticket from me and told me to take a seat. First blood to the man!

I explained my situation, that I needed some No Parking signs because we were moving. She asked if we were moving in or moving out and I told her we were moving out. "Have you brought proof of your address?", she asked and when I produced my driving lisense I could see her face starting to light up. "Sir, you need to bring a utility bill with your address. Without this, we cannot give you a No Parking Sign." Damn, there was the equalizer...1-1.

At this point, I just walked out because arguing with the crazy lady would have give her more delight and made me more mad. What it did do though was illustrate the lack of communication between city departments and the people. I got home and looked up the internets (all of them) for the rules on obtaining and displaying Temporary No Parking Signs. They are listed here: http://www01.smgov.net/planning/transportation/parkingregulations.html

....I wont repeat what's in that page but nowhere does it state what documentation you must take with you in order to obtain a No Parking sign. So chances are you'll have at least one wasted trip to City Hall.

Anyway, after reading the website I went for visit number two and to my dismay they had changed staff behind the counters. I was so looking forward to seeing my new best friend again! My ticket got called and I explained the situation. I showed her the utility bill and she wrote out two "No Parking Signs" and I handed over my $4.00. Here's the conversation that ensued:

• Me: "So I just have to put these outside my house then...nothing else?"
• Lady: "Nope"
• Me: "Oh, So I don't need to have them up for at least 24 hours prior to the day of the truck arriving?"
• Lady: "Oh yeah, you need to do that."
• Me: "Ahh, ok...Oh and I don't need to call the Santa Monica Police Parking Department as soon as I place the signs so that they can inspect them?"
• Lady: "Oh yeah, you need to do that too."
• Me: "Ahh...ok, and I'm sure that I read somewhere if I don't remove the signs I'll be fined up to $350.00. Is that true?"
• Lady: "Yes, you must take them down or else you'll be fined."
• Me: "Ahhh....ok, so aside from the stuff I just mentioned there's really nothing I need to do"
• Lady: "Nope!"

So we've two issues here. The website doesn't tell you stuff that the people in City Hall know about.....and the people in City Hall aren't aware of the information on the website.  This leads to mass confusion, Annoyed people and general big pool of poop! I mean, Cmon guys, get it together?! It's not that difficult. Update the website, train the people on the 3 or 4 easy, but all important things to do and everyone will be happy.

 ......And here's the real kicker (and this is something I found out from personal experience). If you don't notify the police transport department and someone does park in the area you have reserved, there's nothing you can do about it. If the police don't have it on record that you called in they will not authorize the towing of the offending vehicle. That's kinda an important point so I don't see why City Hall doesn't tell you this?? Infact, I don't see why the people at City Hall don't tell you ALL the really important information that's on the (pretty difficult to find) website?

 .....And another thing.......the number they give you on the website to call .....(310) 458-8466......doesn't give you an option for verifying the No Parking signs. Choose the option that says something like "If this is an out of hours concern, press 8 to speak with an operator". That person will then give you some abuse and transfer to someone that gives a crap.

Moving is stressful enough without these kinda hassles!

After looking around the internet, there seems to be alot of mystisism around how Microsoft interview and what the day involves. After going through a few in my time and actually coming out the other end with an offer I thought I would lend in my 2 cents worth.

General Interview format 

In my time I've been for 3 full time interviews over a 5 year period. One was an SDET ( Software DEveloper in Test) position and 2 have been for Program Manager positions. There are obvious differences in the questions that you get asked but the format of the interview day is pretty much the same:

• You meet the recruiting manager at 9:00 for 15 mins. This is usually the person you've been chatting to for the past few weeks.
• From 9:30 onwards, you'll meet a different person usually for a 50-55 min interview session.
• At the start of the day, you are given an interview schedule that will normally detail your interviews up to and including lunch. (yeah, Lunch is also an interview).
• After lunch, it's pretty much "suck it and see". By that, I mean that the interview can end at any point. You'll see someone for about an hour, they will ask you to sit out in the reception area and someone will come out to see you. At that point, you may be told that the interview is over or you'll go in for another interview session.

So how do you know if you've seen everyone you have to see? Well, I've found there are 2 indications to wether you have met everyone you're supposed to. Firstly, you should know the name of the actual hiring manager (ie, the manager who has the "head count"). Also, the last person in any interview is refered to as the "As App" or "As Appropriate". They are normally someone who isn't tied to the group but is someone thats fairly high up and is judging your general "Microsoft Fit" as opposed to your actual ability to fulfill a particular discipline. Also, one of the best indicators is that if you're still seeing people at 5:30 then it's a good sign. If it's 3:00 and you've been told the interview is over.......there's a better than even chance they wont proceed with an offer.

Something else to note. The info above is relevent for a full time position. If you're going for a temp position (A- or a V-), the number of people you see will probably be less.

Specific Interview Questions

I'm sure you've read all the comments about the kind of questions you get asked. Quick disclaimer here.....I've only been exposed to Test and PM Full time interviews so if you're applying for a different position, you're experiences may differ. From what I've seen, long gone are the days of asking the crazy "Fuzzy logic" questions like -

"Train A leaves a station traveling north at 4:00am. Train B leaves another station 100 miles away traveling south at 5:25am. If they pass each other 22 mins later at a combined speed of 95 MPH, what kind of ham does the driver have on his sandwiches?"

Now, Microsoft tend to focus on how you think in practical situations. Some of the best questions I had when interviewing for the testing position was things like "How would you test for the number of golf balls in the air at any one time". Another one was when I sat down and the interviewer passed me a coke can and said "How would you test this?". There are no right or wrong answers but they want to see your train of thought and make sure you think in a logical fashion.

As far as Program Management type questions go, you obviously get asked about the software lifecycle but its more in terms of your personal experience. It's not enough to sit there and talk about the methods of program/project management (That would probably take about an hour and its something you can learn from a book). Alot of questions will probably start with "Tell me about a time when....." and they will be looking for examples of how you handled difficult situations, bringing projects back on track, managing resources, Identifying mistakes and making improvements etc etc.. There are many great resources on the web for specific question relating to specific roles and I'll list them below.

What did I do differently this time - A few tips.

As I mentioned above, this was my 3rd FTE (Full time Employee) interview so I've been turned down twice before. After I received my offer I sat down and tried to go over what I did differently. Here are my thoughts: Again, this is a purely personal thing...Take from it what you will.

The Stress factor. All the other times, I spent the evening prior to the interview studying PM sites, making notes and relating those to my experiences as a PM. This usually meant I didn't get to sleep until 3am and woke up even more stressed. This time was different and I purposfully stayed away from that. I went out for dinner, went back to the hotel, sat and thought for an hour on the kinds of questions I may be asked and was tucked up in bed by 10:00pm.  Point to take away from this - If you have some experience under your belt (and you obviously do because it says so on your resume and you've got to the interview stage) there's no need to stress out about cramming the night before.

Self Confidence. It's a big thing to be interviewing at Microsoft. The company is world renouned and in most cases, the benefits they offer are fantastic. It's a long term opportunity. My point is that I got into the mindset of regarding everyone that worked there as "better than me." The upshot being that when it came to the interview I gave this impression of being "Not worthy" and almost not being up to the task. This time was different in that YES, you've got to appreciate that you will be speaking to some very talented people but that YES, you are also just as talented. The person sitting opposite you asking questions may be on the interview panel because they are your potential manager or it could be because they are going to be working alongside you. I made a point of remembering this during the interview and I'm sure that played a big part. I'm not saying be "cocky" and "Big Headed"...Just realise that you're there because they want you there.

And don't be scared to ask questions. If there's one thing Microsoft love it's using acronyms. My experience is that the interviewer will forget that you may not have worked in MS before, let alone the specific group so they will use acronyms all the time... Not to throw you a curve ball but because they work with these acronyms every day. If they say something you don't understand....stop and ask them!

Interviewing....It's a 2 way thing. This is related to the self confidence thing and was something I did in almost every interview segment. In the past 2 interviews I did, I asked questions but waited until the part where the interviewer said "Do you have any questions for me?".  This time, I treated each session as an opportunity to really find out what that persons role was and how it would interact with the role being offerred. In the back of my mind was always to interview them just as much as they were interviewing me. And it really helped because the hiring manager asked me what I thought of the role and where I thought my part would be.

Remember people's names. Sometimes it's really difficult in an interview situation but this time I made a great effort to remember people's names. When you have an 8 hour interview process there are always going to be overlapping questions. I think I impressed people by saying things like "Yeah..and that was a point I discussed with John..blah blah". Sounds such a small thing but I'm sure it made a big impression. Shows that you're taking an interest and it wasn't something I did previously.

Engaging with the "As Appropriate". Depending on the group you are interviewing with, the As Appropriate could be someone in your team or someone that's never going to work with you. The point of this interview is to assess your "Microsoft Fit". Before, I don't think I really appreciated how important this step is but in reality, It's probably one of the most important steps. I can't recal what level my "As App" was but he was at a VP level and he asked me what direction I thought Microsoft was going in and was it a good direction? Luckily enough, I had just seen the new "I'm a Pc, I'm a Mac" advertising campaign so I talked about that and how it was interesting to come from California (Which is mostly a mac type area) to Microsoft. It's not really an interview thats related to the position, It's at a higher level but is equally as important.

Also, something I've heard is that not many people leave Microsoft for another company. They are a great believer in hiring internally and will look to other departments before advertising positions to the outisde world. This is why they place so much emphasis on the whole "Microsoft fit". You're not just interviewing for a position in a specific group, You're interviewing for a position within the entire company and regard you as a long term investment.

Some Helpful Links

http://geekswithblogs.net/jolson/archive/2005/01/21/20636.aspx  - Interview from the perspective of an SDET

http://www.emicrosoftinterview.com/ - Great resource for Microsoft Interview prep.

http://blogs.msdn.com/descapa/archive/2007/03/24/program-manager-pm-interview-tips.aspx - A great article related to PM specific interviews.

http://qbrundage.com/michaelb/pubs/essays/working_at_microsoft.html - From a current employees perspective.

In conclusion....

So after all the interviews, I got out of the building at 5:45pm and had to rush along the 520 to catch my plane. (It was just as well I opted for the later flight). I spoke to the recruiter that evening and although she didn't have any info on how I performed she did set an expectation that I would hear back within a week. My previous times when I was unsucessful, I generally heard back from the recruiter the next day to be told they wouldn't extend an offer. After 5 days I received an email to say that not only were they extending an offer but that they would be extending an offer of Senior Program Manager. Originally, I was under the impression it was for a normal level PM position. I start this later this month.

I think that everything I've mentioned played a big part in getting the offer. I will say that everyone's experience is different but at the end of the day, Microsoft is just like every other company. If you're reading this and about to interview, Good luck! And please drop me an email if you have any questions.

Hey.....
Right, So now I can finally come out of the career based closet and get it off my chest. For those of you that don't yet know, The Guthrie's are upping sticks again, packing the wagon and moving back up to Seattle. "But you just came from there", I hear you cry. Absolutely right...we did but after four years in sunny Santa Monica we've come to realise that it's not a good long term solution for us. There are a bunch of reasons why and as came closer to this realisation an opportunity with Microsoft came around that we couldn't pass up....

So I'm going to be a Full time Microsoftie, living in Redmond, which is perfect. The downside to this is leaving my current Job at <a href=http://www.business.com> Business.com. I've been there for over three years now, been fortunate to work with a talented set of people and made alot of amazing friends. I keep telling my 10 year old son that you never loose your friends, you just make new ones and I'm going to have to practice what I preach. It's a great company and if any of the emplyees happen to be reading this...GET BACK TO WORK AND DRIVE THAT STOCK PRICE UP! :-)

One of the benefit of choosing Microsoft is the relocation package. Basically, we do nothing aside from get our arses (with Elvis the rabbit) on a plane and live, free of charge, in corporate housing for two weeks. We've already got our new house we're renting right next door to our good friends Phil and Susan. Probably live there for a year then either move on or buy it?!?! There are many other benefits which I'll go into once I actually start but needless to say this will be the easiest move we've ever done!

So the big moving date is Nov 15ish and I start the new gig on Nov 17....right in time for Thanksgiving! Hurrah.......no doubt I'll be joining the plethora of other Microsofties that blog about the company and how great it is to work there. Or I may be too busy!? Who knows?

Is "Blogage" even a word???...

Anyway, how long has it been since I've written anything? I know, I'm lame! Extemely lame. It's been one of those things where nothing much has been happening in life, well, nothing that I can blog about at the moment. That statement will make more sense in a few days when I blog again. Since I last blogged, Mum and Dad visited....we went to Vegas AGAIN and now my lovely Mother-in-Law is visiting. And no, i'm not saying that in a sarcastic, tongue in cheek way. She is lovely and the best mum-in-law anyone could wish for!

So hopefully I'm going to get back into the blogging thing. There's going to be lots to tell in the next few weeks and my plan is keep a running diary of the family's exploits. One thing I can say is that Fi gave in her months notice and shortly will no longer be the building manager of our apartments. Talk about a crappy job that paid hardly anything! 

Right....onwards and upwards....

Stoaf!

So here's the story...Just back from a very long weekend in Vegas (3 nights to be exact) and instead of doing all the usual boring bloggy stuff about what we did etc, I thought I would turn this into a "Foreigners guide to Vegas" kinda deal.

If you've been to Vegas before, there are certain things that you probably just take for granted that can end up costing you a bunch of cash. And most of the time, it's probably because you don't know any different and if you're on vacation, you probably dont really care anyway. The place also has some crazy rules regarding kids. We dont normally take the kiddies to Vegas because, despite the state trying a "Kid friendly" marketing campaign, everyone knows that it's not a good place for the young 'uns. Anyway, here's some tips, info and blarb about our experiences:

Driving to Vegas
As mentioned below, we drive to Vegas. From sunny Santa Monica, it's about a 4 and a half hour journey if you dont stop. We tend to stop at Barstow, which is roughly half way there so our journey time is about 5 hours. If you do drive there are a couple of things to watch out for:

• Police traps - They encorce the speed limit, especially in the desert. The roads are so straight that its tempting to step on it but watch out. I'm in no way advocating speeding and they will throw the book at you for going even 10 MPH over. Especially if you have non Nevada license plates.
  
• Road works/traffic jams - Going to Vegas, you want to avoid the Friday afternoon/evening and early on Saturday. As you can imagine, weekenders set off after work or early on Saturday. coming back from Vegas, Anytime on the weekend can be bad..especially Sunday. 
  
• Where to stop?
  Going to Vegas - Barstow marks the last place before hitting the desert. The next decent place to stop after Barstow is Primm, which is the other side of the Desert. If you need to gas up, do it in Barstow.  Also, make sure your car's colling system is in good order. There are a few points where the altitude increases and that puts stress on the car.

How to get around Vegas 1 - Monorail
The main strip is big....impressivly so...and coupled with the fact it can get damn hot, there are a bunch of alternative ways to see the different hotel. For $12.50 a day, you can buy a monorail pass. There is a monorail station at hotels along the strip and its a great way to save shoe leather and beat the blazing heat. Coupled with the fact that many hotels have walkways linking them, it is possible to hop from one to the other without ever having to go outside.

How to get around Vegas 2 - Taxi V's Driving
Because of where we live, we were lucky enough to drive to Vegas from Santa Monica. This is great because once you get there, you can save a bunch on Taxi fares which, obviously depending on where you are going, can add up to a pretty penny. Going from one end of the strip to the other can cost up to $15 each way. If you have your own car, all of the hotels have parking. You can either self park or Valet park. There is no fee for the valet parking but the rule is to slip the attendant a few dollars once they bring the car back to you.  Finding the parking lots from the main strip is really easily because the hotel sign posts are all clear and consise. I managed it and my sense of direction is, to say the least, Pants! The only downside to self parking is that you may have a bit of a walk to the actual hotel entrance. Valet parking is the way to go!

Also, if you have your own car then you can stay off the strip and get away from the constant casino type aptmosphere...which can get to you after a while.

Kiddies info:
There is nothing to say that Kiddies aren't allowed in Vegas and the powers at be actually tried to advertise it as a fun place for the kids. The plain fact is that it's an adult playground but thats not to say kids cant enjoy it either. We have a 10 year old and a 3 year old and we managed to keep them suitably entertained. We stayed at the MGM and spent alot of time in the kiddies arcade. Most of the hotels have kids related stuff but the one thing I found missing are creche facilities, so you can say goodbye to the Vegas nightlife.

Another good thing about the MGM is the amount of pool space they have. I think there's 7 in all including a new river rapid type pool. The kids loved it and although you;re not allowed to take in any pool toys, I'm sure they could've stayed there for hours. Word of warning though.....we only went to the pool between before 10:00am then after 5:00pm. Sun burned children are a bad thing! 

The one weird thing are the ambigious rules re. kids in the casinos. They can be in there (they have to be because you always have to walk thourgh casinos) but they cant be standing still around the machines. We had a few interesting run ins with hotel security when my 10 year old stopped to tie his shoe lace. Having said that, security know how ambigious the ruels are and dont really say to much, they just ask you to make sure the kiddies are moving. At that point, my 10 year old started jogging up and down on the spot.

Alrighty, well, I think thats all I have to say on the matter. If anyone has any questions about taking kids to Vegas, driving to Vegas or anything in general. Let me know.

Cheers!
Stoafer.

Saturday mornings (infact, life in gernal) used to be pretty relaxing for us. Lewis is getting older now and doesn't need that much attention so it must be....oh yeah, our little three year old Aimee. Trying to find a good outlet for today's toddler is actually harder than you think. When we were at Roosevelts' (Lewis's school) carnival, we bumped into the owner of Santa Monica's "The Tot Club", and after looking at what they do decided to sign up for a FREE (Yes, I said FREE) session. That turned into signing up for a 10 session class and if our 3 year old has her way...probably many more.

So whats the deal with this place? Well, Aimee hasn't been to kindergarten (because all the private ones are so damn expensive) so she's only really been around Adults and kids Lewis's age. A large part of the club is getting children used to communicating and playing with others and during the first class Aimee was pretty reserved. I'm just back from her third class and aside from being completely "buggered", I'm seeing such a difference in Aimee. For those without kids things like sharing, kicking a ball to other kids and dancing amoungst other kids seem like pretty normal things to do but it can be difficult to get kids out of their shell. In our class today, we had 8 people (including Adults) and Aimee decided, on her own accord, to get up and dance and sing with Shelly (the organiser). I'll be honest and say I completely underestimated the idea after initially signing up for our first class but it's such an amazing thing to see.

And the best part is, the adults get involved too. So if you were ever thinking of an excuse to act like a child and get away with it......Here you are! I think this is the first time I have ever seen a black belt in Karate dance around to the Wiggles with scrafs on his head.

Anyway, Go check out their website - http://www.thetotclub.com . Shelly, who ownes the club is completely fantastic and Aimee will second that..Infact, Today Aimee ran up to Ms Shelly and said "Ms Shelly, I love you". High praise indeed!!!!!!

Out!

A few days ago, I posted a blog about the new cell phone law that just came into effect in our lovely state of California. The big question is....Is it working?

I have a pitiful 10 minute commute on the red rocket and this morning, I witnessed 6 people on their cell phones, 1 of whch completely ran a stop sign. I hink I'm going to keep a running total of how many people still use their cellphones.

And to think I had so much trust in my fellow man. NOT! 

Way back in January, I had my first "big off" in nigh on 19 years. Up till then i'd been riding my Shoei Synchrotec helmet on the street and my Shoei RF1000 on the track. With the resulting decomissioning of the Synchrotec it was time to replace my street helmet !

 So coinciding with the purchase of "wee Billy" I went helmet shopping and chose a Shoei Hornet DS in Matt Black as the new replacement. I knew that with the Hornbet DS I'd get a lot more wind noise from the  visor. What i didn't expect was how well the visor shielded my eyes from the sun, allowing use of a non tinted face shiel;d for the first time in 4 years. I can also fit my Oakley perscription glasses under the Shoei, so they serve as my sunglasses as well as letting me actually see while riding :)  Good thing that the shield works so well, because a tinted face shielf for the hornet DS is a scary $82 USD on the shoei website !!! is that daylight robbery or what ?

Better not scratch it then !  Overall fit is good, but after a few hours the helmet is still pinching my ears, even after 1600 miles, which is kinda unusual for me in this size of a Shoei. I'm hoping it beds in quickly as the larger size was much too big off the getgo.

 Ventilation is something i havent really noticed working too well on this helmet, opening and closing the vents seems to make little effect, but i am biased , my last ride was on the hottest day of the year :) so i'll report back on that one. 

The helmet was also nigh on 500 bucks, so with hindsight i'd have to recomend to only buy one if you really want n Enduro styled helmet that makes you look like "Master Chief" ...especially when Shoei has other less expensive , very well made helmets that are lighter, less noisy and cheaper to buy face shields for.

 However, if like me being cool is all that matters, then certainly go and check out the Shoei Hornet DS, and dinnae forget your wallet !

The Shoei Hornet DS has a MSRP of $482.99 as reviewed. You can check out the Hornet DS from Shoei at the Shoei USA website. 

I've never liked soft luggage, but then i've always owned Sports Bikes over the last 15 years and soft luggage has a way off looking fairly "tatty" pretty darn fast. Same goes for tank bags, I have a tank bag for my 2001 Moto Guzzi V11 Sport (aka "Britney") and hated it! Havng a plastic gas tank meant that it strapped on, rubbed against the paintwork and was a pain every time i had to refuel.

  Well, this has all changed. I just got back from a 1000 mile roadtrip to Santa Monica and back to hang out with Demon Overlord Stoafo (aka "Kawasaki Riding Bastard") and his family, oh yeah and to do some work too. I knew that i'd need to put some luggage on "wee Billy" for the trip and didnt want to spend a bunch of cash because i've already ordered a set of Krauser aluminium luggage from Twisted Throttle. 

 Prior to the trip I called Honda/Suzuki of San Mateo on the off-chance that they could do a while you wait first service on "wee Billy" as i was already over the 600 mile point. Of course they could ! This dealership rocks! They're a bunch of more "mature" guys, just having fun running an "old skool" shop. I instantly felt at home and i will buy product from them in future. While they serviced my bike i decided to buy some soft luggage. First up the Cortec "Super 10 Liter" Tank Bag.

Ok I'm way impressed with this product. It mounts to the Vstrom's Gas tank magnetically. Easy on, easy off and doesn't move anywhere while underway. This eliminates my biggest gripe with tank bags about stoppping at the gas station. (even though with "wee billy" i only have to stop every 230 miles or so!) I also love the map pocket, although its a little on the small side, nae more stopping to pull my google-mapped location out of my pocket :)

The Zippers are also very sturdy, and i like the grab handle and the little pocket seperator that I use for my house keys and phone etc.

The first big thing that i've noticed with the tank bag is that now i carry a chain and padlock with me everywhere. They live in the tank bag, so i have nae excuses not to lock up "wee Billy" wherever i happen to be!

Here's one last shot of the Cortech Super 10 Litre tank bag in action, high up in the Santa Monica mountains on the hottest day of the year so far in Southern California.

So I have no idea what made me think of this story again. I think it's with all the hot weather we're having here in Sunny Santa Monica. Robbie and I were chatting about beach parties and I thought I'd mention a great example of cultural differences. Here goes..

Business.com (the company I work for) have beach parties every year around August. This is a great thing and, like alot of company sponsored events, Involves drinking. We have a free bar on the beach, games, free food etc etc. Everything you need to have a great time.

I was at the company for about 9 months before my first beach party. As soon as we arrived at said beach everyone ran to the bar. Not wanting to blend in and follow suit I wanted to stay away from the Bud and miller lite and go for a man's drink. I picked the most Scottish/Irish sounding beer (more alcohol obviously) and after tasting it thought it was the "Dogs Danglies". "Yup, this is my choice of beverage for the day", I thought. Because the bar was on a private beach, the barman had to empty the content of the bottle into a plastic cup. Two hours later and I drink the bar dry of said beer and switch to the old fav "Jack and coke". Barman gave me a funny glance but thought nothing of it. End of the day comes and welcome in the weekend.

Monday arrives and at lunch we all get together and chat about the various drunken actions of our work mates. I think back to the day with amazing clarity and boast about how my Scottish ability to hold huge amounts of alcohol was in full effect and despite drinking 9 bottles of beer and 3 Jack and Cokes, I was still standing.  The following conversation ensued:

Me: "Ha, well I managed to do a steller job of not acting like a drunken idiot. I am Scottish and therefore a way better drinker than all of yooz".

Fellow worker: "Emmm...I saw what you were drinking. You were drinking O'Douls".

Me: "Aye what of it?"

Fellow worker: "It's fricken non-alcoholic you idiot".

Now, to this day, this story is STILL mentioned and 2 beach parties have come and gone.  No one bothered to highlight the fact at the time..Oh no, that would be too easy. In the spirit (no pun intended) of helping out a fellow "Non-American", Here  is a good resource of non-alcoholic beverages. Learn these brands to avoid possible confusion and ultimate humiliation.